The Bible says it, my dad said it, and 20 years of marriage proved it: Happy Wife, Happy Life. Ignore this wisdom at your own peril. 😂

🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇
1/25 - Tampa, FL @tampfunnybone
1/26 - SOLD OUT! Weirsdale, FL @theorangeblossomopry
1/29 - Columbus, OH @columbusfunnybone
1/30 - Brookfield, WI @ImprovMilwaukee
1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids
2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy
2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw
2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA
2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville

#JeffAllenComedy #Marriagehumor #familyfriendlycomedy #happywifehappylife #cleanstandup

Married Guys: “Where are you going?” is NOT a yes-or-no question. 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 3/7 - Statesboro, GA @averittcenter 3/8 - Alpharetta, GA @HeliumComedyClubAtlanta 3/13 - Springfield, MO @BlueRoomComedyClub 3/14 - 3/15 Lowell, AR @NWAGrove 3/21 - Clifton, TX at the Clifton ISD Performing Arts Center 3/22 - Phoenix, AZ @standuplive 3/27 - Malvern, at Hillsdale Community Church 3/28 - Arlington, TX @arlingtonmusichall 3/30 - Boston, MA @laughboston 3/31 - Hartford, CT @hartfordfunnybone #jeffallencomedy #MarriageFails #golf #familyfriendlycomedy #thehumanconditiontour

Teen drivers: the reason parents pray more. 😂🙏 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater 3/7 - Statesboro, GA @averittcenter 3/8 - Alpharetta, GA @HeliumComedyClubAtlanta / IN: @heliumcomedyatl 3/13 - Springfield, MO @BlueRoomComedyClub 3/14 - 3/15 Lowell, AR @NWAGrove /IN @thegrove80 3/21 - Clifton, TX at the Clifton ISD Performing Arts Center 3/22 - Phoenix, AZ @standuplive 3/27 - Malvern, at Hillsdale Community Church 3/28 - Arlington, TX @arlingtonmusichall 3/30 - Boston, MA @laughboston 3/31 - Hartford, CT @hartfordfunnybone #JeffAllenComedy #ParentingSurvival #thehumanconditiontour #familyfriendlycomedy

3 pennies = instant confusion. 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater 3/7 - Statesboro, GA @averittcenter 3/8 - Alpharetta, GA @HeliumComedyClubAtlanta / IN: @heliumcomedyatl 3/13 - Springfield, MO @BlueRoomComedyClub 3/14 - 3/15 Lowell, AR @NWAGrove /IN @thegrove80 3/21 - Clifton, TX at the Clifton ISD Performing Arts Center 3/22 - Phoenix, AZ @standuplive 3/27 - Malvern, at Hillsdale Community Church 3/28 - Arlington, TX @arlingtonmusichall 3/30 - Boston, MA @laughboston 3/31 - Hartford, CT @hartfordfunnybone #JeffAllenComedy #MathStruggles #thehumanconditiontour #cleanstandupcomedy #genzhumor

Aging is...fun. 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇# 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater 3/7 - Statesboro, GA @averittcenter 3/8 - Alpharetta, GA @HeliumComedyClubAtlanta 3/13 - Springfield, MO @BlueRoomComedyClub 3/14 - 3/15 Lowell, AR @NWAGrove 3/21 - Clifton, TX at the Clifton ISD Performing Arts Center 3/22 - Phoenix, AZ @standuplive 3/27 - Malvern, at Hillsdale Community Church 3/28 - Arlington, TX @arlingtonmusichall 3/30 - Boston, MA @laughboston 3/31 - Hartford, CT @hartfordfunnybone #jeffallencomedy #thehumanconditiontour #familyfriendlycomedy #aging #cleanstandupcomedy

Hot dogs: the only food where ignorance really is bliss. 😂🌭 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater 3/7 - Statesboro, GA @averittcenter 3/8 - Alpharetta, GA @heliumcomedyatl #jeffallencomedy #hotdogfail #thehumanconditiontour #familyfriendlycomedy #comedyreels

Rocky Mountain Oysters: If you don’t know, DON’T ask. 😂🤢 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater #JeffAllenComedy #FoodRegrets

There should be a dating app for women who love a project. 😂 #JeffAllenComedy #FixerUpperDating #DatingFails

Even in Eden, Adam was dressed in one second. Eve? Still looking. 😂 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville 2/13 - 2/16 - Nashville, TN @factoryatfranklin 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre 3/1 - Casper, WY @rialtocasperwy 3/2 - Greeley, CO @moxitheater #JeffAllenComedy #GardenOfEdenProblems #NothingToWear #familyfriendlycomedy #biblicalstandup

Tami’s not into firearms, so our new security system is targeted shame and disappointment. 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville 2/13 - 2/16 - Nashville, TN @factoryatfranklin 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre #JeffAllenComedy #MarriageLaughs #CountryLife #selfdefense #familiyfriendlycomedy

Marriage is great—until your spouse ‘whispers’ loud enough to start a fight with an Orange Julius worker. 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville 2/13 - 2/16 - Nashville, TN @factoryatfranklin 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @theatregryphon #JeffAllenComedy #MarriageHumor #thehumanconditiontour #familyfriendlycomedy #happywifehappylife👑

They say don’t run from a dog… but what about this guy? 😂🐕 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville 2/13 - 2/16 - Nashville, TN @factoryatfranklin 2/21 - Ringgold, GA @colonnadecenter 2/26 - Greenwood Village, CO @comedyworksfans 2/27 - Colorado Springs, CO @phillongmusichall 2/28 - Laramie, WY @gryphontheatre #JeffAllenComedy #DogHumor #RunningTips #familyfriendlycomedy #cleanstandup

🥶Menopause: turning your bedroom into a walk-in freezer since forever. 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/30 - Brookfield, WI @ImprovMilwaukee 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville #MarriageHumor #jeffallencomedy #menopause #thehumanconditiontour #familyfriendlycomedy

How do you make kale worse? Burn it. Apparently, that’s called a chip. 😳😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/29 - Columbus, OH @columbusfunnybone 1/30 - Brookfield, WI @ImprovMilwaukee 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville #JeffAllenComedy #familyfriendlycomedy #MarriageHumor #cleancomedy #familyfriendlycomedy

🏌️Woke golf for the win! 😂 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/29 - Columbus, OH @columbusfunnybone 1/30 - Brookfield, WI @ImprovMilwaukee 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville #familyfriendlycomedy #cleanstandup #MarriageHumor #JeffAllenComedy #golfcomedy

🍪 Having Kids Really Changes the Way You Eat!🤣 🎤UPCOMING TOUR DATES👇 1/29 - Columbus, OH @columbusfunnybone 1/30 - Brookfield, WI @ImprovMilwaukee 1/31 - Wisconsin Rapids - Performing Arts Center of Wisconsin Rapids 2/1 - Green Bay, WI @cupojoy 2/2 - Warsaw, IN @thisishomechurchwarsaw 2/7 - San Antonio, TX @MajesticEmpireSA 2/8 - Huntsville, TX @oldtowntheatrehuntsville #familyfriendlycomedy#cleanstandup#ParentingHumor#MarriageHumor#JeffAllenComedy