Company

Program

Terms & Policies

© 2025 TikTok

We're having trouble playing this video. Please refresh and try again.

Relationships are not the place to pursue suffering, my friends.

Relationships should not be the place of trial and testing and hardship. We have enough of that just living life.

Marriage should be a place of solace and companionship in a difficult world.

This doesn’t mean you won’t have relational struggles or fight (sometimes) or feel annoyed occasionally with your spouse. (You will and this is totally normal).

But as a baseline- your marriage should give you peace. Your marriage should be a joy, not a constant difficulty.

The Christian obsession with suffering will have you overlooking important compatibility facets and basic personality differences.

Do not take the Bible out of context to pursue a problematic relationship and attempt to make it a lifelong source of “holy suffering” 😵‍💫

#marriage #relationships #counselor #couplescounseling #therapy #marriagetherapy #conflict #communication #attachmentstyle #attachmentwound

5 comments

You may like

Pinned
spicycounselor
57.9K
·2023-8-31
Pinned
This can be especially helpful for those that are struggling with sex and feel pressure to have it when their partner starts showing any kind of affection. Separate it out and focus on the small acts of intimacy themselves. #spicytip #intimacy #therapy #counselorsoftiktok #pleasure #ComeDanceWithMe
spicycounselor
369.6K
·2022-4-13
Pinned
The overconfidence to hide it’s the first time you’re doing this with a real client 🥲 we have to start somewhere & learning new theories and modalities is part of what makes a good therapist. I believe in us! #therapy #therapytiktok #therapyhumor #ifs #attachmenttheory #somatichealing
spicycounselor
27.4K
·2024-4-18
I went on @Unlicensed 💌 back in the fall to talk about boundaries and the episode will be out tomorrow everywhere you stream podcasts! ⠀ #podcast #counselor #boundaries #counseling #mentalhealth #mindfulness #relationships #therapy
spicycounselor
26
·15h ago
Emotional safety is not just the absence of 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 (criticizing, yelling, blaming, gaslighting, diminishing, ignoring, etc) ⠀ but the presence of 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 (eye contact, empathy, verbal encouragement, active listening, affirming touch, thoughtful action, consideration, etc). ⠀ These behaviors connect us to one another & it’s through that connection that we feel secure enough to ask for our wants, share difficult emotions, & talk vulnerably about who we are. ⠀ There is no emotional safety apart from connection, even if you’re not fighting dirty or actively hurting your partner or friend. ⠀ Fostering closeness is just as important as reducing harmful conflict patterns. ⠀ #relationships #marriage #emotionalsafety #counselor #therapy #couples #friendship #healthycommunication
spicycounselor
52
·1d ago
When you routinely get intimate out of commitment to the relationship or obligation to your partner, you train your brain to see s-x as a job. ⠀ You’ll then want it to be over as quickly as possible, you won’t be present, and you won’t feel inclined to connect or feel pleasure during it. This sets you up to dread intimacy. Dread is a desire killer! ⠀ The solution? Take the time to build an intimate life that you look forward to. Maybe it’s more kissing, maybe it’s more help with chores to lower your stress overall, maybe it’s a better initiation method from your partner or just slowing down overall and getting out of the set “script” for intimacy. ⠀ This takes exploration and time! But getting out of the “goodwill s-x” cycle can help you feel closer to your partner and more embodied. Even if the frequency goes down, when the quality of intimacy goes up overall satisfaction rises for everyone! ⠀ #therapy #counselor #counseling #desire #anticipation #dread #couples #relationships #healthymarriage #marriage #mentalhealth #lgbtq #lgbtqtherapy #shamefree
spicycounselor
56
·6d ago