Company

Program

Terms & Policies

© 2025 TikTok

We're having trouble playing this video. Please refresh and try again.

Soggy Meat Into a Dusty Clam

I'll take things that never happen for $500, Alex. This vomble-inducing story is dark to say the least. Maybe just stop trying to make fetch happen?

The state of journalism is in steep decline and how a human person managed to write 1000 words about this meatbag blasting his wife is really tough to process. Where is the asteroid?

31 comments

You may like

Pinned
$400 Million Dollar Nets The bureaucratic incompetence is heavy on this one, gang. Leave it up to California to absolutely botch every imaginable thing. It has taken 5 years to build nets on the side of the Golden Gate Bridge, cost nearly triple the budget and the whole project only cost 27% less than the bridge itself. Imagine 83,000 tons of steel costing just a bit more than some nets. Lots of laughs though, pay your fair share John Q. Citizen! Pay up! Whatever contractor sold the state nets for 400M is swimming in a Donald Duck style money pit right now.
takenapss
158.3K
·2023-11-20
Pinned
The McDonnie's Scandal Breaking investigative journalisming from @Harry reveals McDonnie does NOT actually work as a fry cook. This is an incredible scandal that Donnie may never recover from. Nothing in politricks or the real world is ever fabricated for PR. Nothing! Krusty is so authentic and from a middle class family, which she never really talks about because she's just too authentic. Bad orange bad man, can you believe he decieved his way into stealing the nomination for his party!? So deceptive!
takenapss
472.4K
·2024-10-21
Elon vs. Mothball Part time crostini and full time tumbleweed @senwarren has the crustiest and soggiest takes on money and finance ever soggied into sound. If you take financial guidance from a librarian crustacean who's done a whole lot of nothing for over a decade then best of luck to you, cheesebag. She pretends that she knows about money and investing but somehow Elon doesn't? She couldn't spot a good investment if it was in the mothball section at the local library. How does one have the soggiest crustacean takes every single day like this? Retire, crust. You had your chance, porridge awaits. We good! Come for the knee kicks, stay for the jingle. Manic sauce szn has returned.
takenapss
7193
·2d ago
Do-Nothing Billionaires According to "wiscocowboy" all these billionaires are contributing "almost nothing" to society! Shucks! We need to do something about this. Employing millions? Nothing! Products and services for billions of people? Doesn't matter! Charitable contributions in the billions? Nice try! It's about time we all do poor! Be poor! Having nothing good. Working hard bad. Soggy soggy moldy crusty and hoarding wealth. So much nothing.
takenapss
4994
·2d ago
Croc Tears on 60 Minutes The moldiest vibes of all time were broadcast on 60 Minutes when former USAID employees showed how somber and sad they are that they can't ship hundreds of millions of our dollars overseas for the most insane programs imaginable. 20 million for Soggy Studies in Garbville, 6 million for Crustacean Inclusion in Dumpsteristan, 1.1 million for Dirt Merchant Enhancement programs in HotGarbania. Cry me a river SCOTT. Manic, unhinged Sauce has returned on this video with intense flare. Head movements, yelling and a complete meltdown. Where was this energy for our bravest? For our active duty? Where were the croc tears then? @60 Minutes SPARE US, SOGGIES.
takenapss
26.7K
·3d ago
Don't Listen to Schlossberg JFK's grandson needs to post about his Grandmother being hot for attention? Seems about right when your other ideas are well done steak and you've got incurable sogginess. Instead of giving meaningful advice to the dwindling crusties that (I guess) listen to him, Sogs delivers pure mold-speak. Turns out, there is a valuable lesson here for people on the right. Come for the mold, get tickled by knowledge and get schlossed by the jingle. Clip from @Inside with Jen Psaki
takenapss
235
·3d ago
Roses are Red, Soggy are You Enforcing the law is "disgusting" according to @jolly_good_ginger I find it so wild that our intellectual betters pick and choose which laws are good based on who is perceived to be oppressed by them, while completely ignoring all the law abiding people that are innocently punished by their inaction. Apparently you should be be able to jump the fence because the Statue of Liberty suggests it or some such. Oh and the only people who care are apparently slow people from the South? Wild gymnastics on this one. Come for the Simpsons' reference, stay for the poem and dance for the jingle.
takenapss
1774
·4d ago
Soggy and Switch Somebody tell @Heather Gardner that this is exactly what we wanted. It pains me to watch these highly-produced videos with exaggerated face movements and over enunciation but this is my literal job and somebody has to do it. The desperation for content from the crusty left has reached peak soggy and I've never ingested so much moldy sponge themed content in 30 days in my actual life. They honestly think that pretending we got lied to will actually land. Remain crusty and somehow also moist, we are thriving, we love this and we can't wait for more. Nice video, though. Come for the soggy, stay for the jingle.
takenapss
101.3K
·6d ago
NO THANKS
takenapss
829
·2-6
How Will Elon Recover from This? Does eVeRyOnE dislike Elon Musk? Thanks to @MeidasTouch for sharing this WHOPPING poll that definitely doesn't use carefully crafted words to prove "everyone" dislikes Elon. The desperation for favorable content has reached new heights as soggies will pretend everyone dislikes Elon while casually avoiding how more people seem to dislike the D's. Whopping amounts of mold on this take. The only poll that actually matters happened in November and this 1000 person sponge poll is meaningless. Nice try, though. #elonmusk #elon
takenapss
1232
·2-6